Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Official Deathpool Rules

15 total: 14 real people, 1 TV character.

Requirements for celebrity status- to be determined by the 4 judges, majority rules.

Minimum 2 under 20, maximum 2 over 70. No known diseases.

Point system: 100 minus their age. 10 point bonus for a streak (3 person streak would get 20 points and on and on and on and onnnn, thanks Martellus).

1st gets 16 points, last gets 9 points, December gets 5.

Guessing cause of death gets you an extra 5 points.

You have to have at least 1 of the following categories: Athlete, anybody on TV/movies, musician, political figure/commentator, TV fictional character.

If the character comes back to life: if in 2010, doesn't count as death, lose those points. If in 2011, you have to do 2 shots of Rum Island Ice Tea.

Minimum 3 men, 3 women.

Draft: Either next Tuesday or Wednesday, 1 minute clock.

Possible updates in the future, suggestions in the comments, and most important, click the ad baby.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Sportsman of the Year

During the World Series I was talking with 1 of my buddies when I said something to the effect of "if we win the World Series there's a good chance the Captain will be SI's Sportsman of the Year". He responded with something to the effect of "who gives a flying ferret".

Of course this wasn't priority one for me since we still had a World Series to win, but it was in the back of my mind and moving closer to the front these last few weeks.

As anyone who knows me even a little bit should be able to tell you, Derek Jeter is my favorite player. Any sport, any team, no, forget favorite player, the man is as close to an idol as my religious conscience will allow me to have. The story has been often told but on an occasion such as this it bears repeating. In 1995 my favorite Yankee was Jimmy Key. During that season he got hurt and needed Tommy John surgery while also during that season we called up this kid shortstop. After dealing with the devastation that was the Martinez boys (and Griffey, and Joey freaking Cora, and scary Randy Johnson etc) ruining my Succos that year, 1996 began with said kid shortstop being our new starting shortstop. And I just knew. I just f'ing knew that he was going to be awesome, and that this was my new favorite player. (Could I have told you how awesome, or that he would be the absolute perfect role model in every respect imaginable? Of course not, only he's that good.) Sure enough in the first game of that magical year he hit his 1st career HR and made a sick over the shoulder catch.

He came at the perfect time. For most kids there is no stage in your life that you are as completely obsessed with baseball as much as ages 8-11, give or take a few months. That's when you can really appreciate baseball cards, your balls haven't dropped yet so girls still have cooties, when you have no responsibilities whatsoever and can therefore memorize your favorite player's stats (.314, 10 HRs, 78 RBIs in '96, I'll never forget that stat line). Opening Day 1996 I was 9 years old and the last 14 years rooting for Derek Jeter (and the other pinstriped people of course) have been as great as it gets. All of the jumpthrows, all of the Jeterian swings, The Jeffrey Maier HR, The Flip, Mr. November, The Dive (along with the moments that most people don't remember at all, like when he scored from 1st on a routine single) etc. etc. etfreakingcetera are all ingrained in my memory, and hopefully always will be.

For whatever reason SI's Sportsman of the Year has always mattered in some way to me. I guess part of that is because in most cases when you think back to any year since 1954 there's a decent chance the Sportsman of the Year selection will have been the greatest, biggest story of that year. Whether it was the first winner Roger Bannister, who ran the first sub-4 minute mile, or the 1980 US Hockey team, to last year's winner Michael Phelps. The combination of lifetime achievement award and still gettin' it doneness is very well acknowledged.

And now the man, the myth, the legend, the best there was, the best there is, the best there ever shall be, The Captain, Jeter Christ Almighty, 7-time American League Champion, 1996 Rookie of the Year, 2000 All-Star Game MVP, 2000 World Series MVP, 10-time All-Star, 4-time Gold Glove winner, 4-time Silver Slugger winner, 2-time Hank Aaron Award winner, 2009 Roberto Clemente Award winner, and most importantly 5-time World's Champion, Derek Sanderson Jeter is what we'll take from 2009.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Happy 23rd Birthday!

One of the top young players in the majors, and I'm not just saying that because he's on my keeper team, happy birthday Gordon Beckham.

And happy birthday to Sir and Lady Schlachter, those who don't believe in love at first sight obviously never heard of those two who've been together since they met in the nursery 23 years ago.

And even though they weren't born in the great birth year of 1986, happy birthday to Gracie Sheffield/Mia, Amy Poehler, Molly Shannon, Mickey Rourke, Tim "Rock" Raines, among many others.

And oh yeah, little ol' me. I'd be remiss if I didn't put this in:

Embedding disabled by request for whatever annoying reason, so go ahead and click this to watch.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

All Hail

I was unfortunately unaware that these 2 legends would be chilling on the field before the game, otherwise I would've gotten there at 4 and jumped onto the field like a crazed lunatic to meet my 2 favorite active athletes.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Um, what?

The big NBA party starts tonight at midnight, and supposedly there's a decent chance we're getting Jason Kidd. All we have to offer, I would assume, is the mid-level exception. Considering the rumor that Dallas offered 3 years for 8 million each, and the fact that we aren't exactly a title contender, I don't see why Kidd would want to come to the Knicks. The only reasons are our main selling points, the fact that we're New York and have The Garden as our home court, and have D'Antoni and his most fun style ever coaching.

Be that as it may, I'm not a tremendous fan of this news. There are some obvious pros to this move. 1. He immediately becomes our best point guard. 2. He'll make everyone better, both with his on the court play and his off the court leadership. I would hope. 3. A lineup of Kidd-Hughes-Chandler-Gallo-Lee with Nate/the rookies/Wilcox/Darko coming off the bench is probably good enough to sneak into the playoffs.

Now the cons. Numbers are more fun than letters so the cons list gets lettters. A) He's old and slow and his defense is therefore terrible. B) Is it better for us to get Kidd and hope for a 7 seed? Or should we see what happens with Phoenix and Nash, or stay with Duhon and see what the Ghostface Killah can give us and build a better foundation for the future?

Our whole plan since DW/D'Antoni came to town was to gear up everything to the 2010 offseason. So if we sign Kidd for 1 year, then that plan is still in place. If we sign him to a multi-year deal, and don't somehow get rid of the Curry/Jeffries contracts, then our cap room for that offseason continues to go down. The chances of LeBron leaving Cleveland are slim enough as it is, but maybe the thought process would be that LeBron has always wanted to play with Kidd so he'll do whatever it takes to do so. I don't know. Plus we have to deal with D-Lee and Nate. It's gonna be a very interesting couple of weeks here in Knicksland.

All I know is you want your point guard to be a great decision maker. Therefore the picture below is troubling:

Monday, June 8, 2009

Giant Beam 1, Bret Michaels 0

Hilarious. And is that a dude dressed like a chick at the end? I don't get the Tony's but whatever floats their boat.