All Hail

I was unfortunately unaware that these 2 legends would be chilling on the field before the game, otherwise I would've gotten there at 4 and jumped onto the field like a crazed lunatic to meet my 2 favorite active athletes.

Deathmatch Results Round 1

I was really going to get to that Marbury chat, but a more pressing matter has come to the forefront. The early games in the first round of Deathmatch have just ended and here are the results:

Chin-Chan killed Matt Berger. Matt was a captain (not to be confused with The Captain), so this eliminates his team from victory (although those surviving members -The House, Broken Bobbleheads, Raped in the Face- can still kill others).

Pop a Hoodie annihilated Ed. Pop a Hoodie is one of the favorites to take down the big prize while Ed really had no idea what he was getting himself into.

Romo beat Decisio-CHOICE. All there is to say about this one is ROMO!

Rappaport beat and pillaged Ellen May (she was a captain so this also eliminates WiiTV, Rihanna, MotherChucker from winning). Another of the Klinger representatives advances.

B.Y.O.B. on Expert took down Electron Density, which sucks for Mohinder, although that does eliminate 1 of the myriad possibilities.

More to come as the results come in. May the best man/chick/concept/phrase/whatever the hell else is in this game win.

The Natural Order Has Been Restored

One "quarterback" goes 18/35 for 191 yards, 0 TDs, 2 INT.

One quarterback goes 20/30 for 244 yards, 2 TDs, 0 INT.

All is right with the world once again, as yesterday the 'Boys flattened the Giants. Romo completely outplayed the hermaphrodite bedwetter as it should be, the pass rush was beastly, Newman with 2 picks, Tashard Choice (not Tanard you retard Tiki Barber) filling in quite nicely for the hobbled Barbarian, and for at least one night things were back to normal.

Now we still control our own destiny, albeit with 2 very hard games left to play, while the Giants continue to shoot themselves in the thigh, doing what they can to throw away what once seemed an easy road to home field throughout the playoffs (although Eli generally sucks less on the road, since he apparently can't handle the pressure of playing in New Jersey, and his little baby arm can't handle wind).

My 3 favorite things about this game:

3. Jason Witten's catch and run against noted criminal Antonio Pierce. The linebacker, who obstructed justice by hiding Plaxico (not actually a real name) Burress's gun, attempted to tackle Witten. But Witten's long arm of the law, representing truth, justice, and the American Way, stiff-armed him to the new stadium.

2. In 12 games against everyone else this season, the Giants have allowed 11 sacks. In 2 games against us? 12.

1. A touchdown is worth 6 points, 6 times 2 equals 12, 20-8 is what we call a two-touchdown victory, so, you know, guaran-Dachs-teed.

ROMO!